Photo by ML

I am slowly disassembling the "old" me piece by piece. Some changes are voluntary, some are not. Some changes are quite profound and often very difficult, while other changes are trivial and should have been done a long time ago. The most visible change is, of course, material: I have a lot less "stuff". In fact, I have almost no stuff left.

The strange thing, though, is that I don't really care. Come to think of it, that alone is a profound change in my personality. Sure, losing it all was rather painful, at least initially. After all, we're talking about big things like cars, house, furniture, and other "stuff" that one accumulates over several years. And it didn't happen over night, or due to some freak weather incident or fire. No, it happened because of my divorce, and I was actually "awake" the whole time.

Yesterday I dropped off my car. The lease was up and my new life doesn't justify keeping it. But the experience really drove home the point of how different my life is today from two years ago, or even just a few months ago. It's actually quite unbelievable how much everything has changed.

Photo by Hani Amir

So you meet someone and you click right away. You have never met this person before, yet there is something very familiar about this person. You are both similar, but not identical. The two of you keep meeting almost every day, and you talk, text, email, and IM every day.

You have similar life experiences and similar likes and dislikes, but, again, you are not identical. You are different enough for it to be exiting, but not enough for it to be jarring. You naturally agree on the broad strokes, and find it easy to compromise on the details. It feels as if you have known each other for a very long time, yet it has only been a few weeks. And you are already very comfortable with each other — the kind of "comfortable" that can take a very long time to build up.

Every new thing you find out about each other simply seems confirm what you already had guessed. Sure, there are surprises, but the seem to all either enhance a character trait or accentuate an experience. You can almost guess the answer before you ask the question. How is it possible that you "know" this person when you just met a short while ago? How can everything be so familiar?

Photo by ML

Another pizza joint in my neighborhood. And yes, there are a few more, and yes, I will visit them all as part of this highly scientific study. Actually, this place is on Market Street itself — can you say "tourist trap"? — and the place is definitely a bit more hype than substance. The prices have also been adjusted upwards to reflect the prestigious location, but, unfortunately, the food has not.

I have been here a few times, and while the food is ok:ish, it's nothing to write home about. The location is convenient, and if you have a craving ... sure, why not. I've had a few of their slices and also the Soho Cheesesteak. I'm sure there will be a "next time", but probably only because it's on my way from some place and because I'm too lazy to walk around the block to some other joint.

So, that's it for now. On to the next place!

-martin.

Photo by ML

I had been walking by here many times before I stopped in the first time. Not sure why it took so long, but I'm making up for it now. This is a very unpretentious pizza joint. The menu is a sloppy photocopy of photocopies. But hey, who cares as long as the food is good.

This place will never be Zagat-rated, but trust me, when you have a craving for a slice or two, or a whole pie, or you just have to have a cheesesteak, then you can't go wrong with this place. Sure, there are plenty of places like this, especially around here, but this one is above average and the prices are ok.

So far I've had a few of their slices and the cheesesteak with peppers. Personally I lean towards the cheesesteaks, but that's more because I'm not a huge pizza fan in general. Next time I go there, I'll try one of their hoagies.

So, that's it for now. On to the next place!

-martin.

Photo by Alvimann

I have been walking around my Philadelphia neighborhood quite a bit since I moved here not too long ago. And the one thing that has struck me the most is just how many galleries, coffee shops, restaurants, and bars there are around here. Of course, it's not really a surprise since I picked this neighborhood exactly for that reason. But it's only after walking around here that I've come to realize just how many places there are.

Now, I also really like food — both to eat and to cook — and I'm also one who willing to try pretty much anything at least once "just because". Add to that a pinch of "geek", 2tbsp of "wannabe writer", and a healthy dose of "amateur food critic" and you can understand how I came up with the idea of the Eatery Project.

The premise is simple: visit every establishment that serves food and/or drink and falls within an area defined North and South by Arch Street and Chestnut Street, and East and West by Front Street and 4th Street. And if you know anything about this area in Philadelphia, then you can understand how ambitious this project really is — there must be at least a hundred or so establishments in this area.

Wish you were here — Photos by ML

Out of the blue she asked: "Dad, why do you travel so much?". I had called her, like I do every evening, to ask her about her day and, of course, to wish her a good night. She's 5, or more specifically — and she would insist — she's "five and a half!" I have traveled quite a bit her whole life, but it seems to bother her much more now after the divorce.

When I'm not traveling I work from home, and before the divorce that meant she'd see me every day. Now I can only see her every other weekend, and I don't think she quite understands that the reason for us not getting together as often anymore is not that I travel so much more than before — it only seems that way to her. Her much older sister is handling this differently, or maybe I'm misreading the cues. She's a teenager, and I doubt I'd be the first dad misreading his teenage daughter (or son for that matter).

I've thought a lot about what I can change to be around my girls much more, but the realities of life simply make this impossible — at least for the moment. Who knows? Circumstances may change in the future, and I know that given the opportunity I'd move closer to them in a heartbeat. But for now I'll have to do the best I can with what I have.

Boxes Piled High — Photos by ML

I have too much stuff! Too much stuff for my small apartment. How did this happen? It didn't look like it was that much when I packed up my previous apartment. Yes, I am moved to a smaller place. This new place has "only" a bedroom, living room, and kitchen — it's not big by any measure, but it's more than enough for one person, and it's right in the middle of the city. The building is old, so ceiling height is about 1 mile (maybe I'm exaggerating a little). The windows are as tall as doors, and the view is down to a busy street with restaurants and bars.

But back to the problem at hand: where do I put all this stuff? I have weeded out old clothes and probably get rid of a few more things. The big problem is all my kitchen stuff. I like to cook and I therefore have a bit more than just a pot to boil some water. And what about all the cups and plates and glasses (wine and beer and other). Then there is the wine rack. Where do I put it? Oh, and the other liquor bottles? I mean, some "stuff" one simply cannot live without.

Now You See Me — Photos by ML

I was going through the pictures in my camera when I came across this sequence of my younger daughter smiling and making silly faces. Unfortunately I don't get to see her and her sister as often as I'd like to, so I try to make the most of each occasion. Over the last year we've visited the Maritime Aquarium in Norwalk, CT, on a fairly regular basis. And almost every time we then go to the nearby coffee shop Caffeine to eat a huge piece of cake. These pictures were taken at one such visit.

I'm not sure how much my daughters will remember from these visits, or whether they will remember them at all. But I hope that at least some of them become part of their childhood memories. It's funny though, how one's childhood memories develop. When I think back to my own childhood, it's not necessarily the "big" events that stand out. In fact, most of my own memories, especially the early ones, seem to be around very ordinary events such as visits to some park, playing with friends in the neighborhood, and so on. I also seem to remember certain foods .. hm .. getting kinda hungry now :)

-martin.

The New & Improved Me — Photo by ML

Let's see, the title contains a cliche as reference to "renewal" by way of an over-used buzzword "thingy", and all this just to grab your attention. So what is this about? It is about starting over. Specifically, it's about me starting over completely from scratch — starting over in every sense of the term, and, in doing so, also trying to renew almost every aspect of my life.

How did this come about, and why now? In short: a divorce. The details of the divorce itself are irrelevant. Instead the focus here is on the effects and consequences that the divorce has had and, of course, will continue to have on my life. And while I don't want to imply that the divorce has had no emotional effects on me, I also don't want to write an angry diatribe about it. It would serve no purpose — not even as catharsis.

No, instead my goal is to journal some of the things that happen to me following my decision to start over. This is the first blog entry on this topic, and as time goes on I'm certain that much will be "as expected", some will be surprising and even exciting, some will be disappointing, probably infuriating, and often just plain frustrating.