Let's see, the title contains a cliche as reference to "renewal" by way of an over-used buzzword "thingy", and all this just to grab your attention. So what is this about? It is about starting over. Specifically, it's about me starting over completely from scratch — starting over in every sense of the term, and, in doing so, also trying to renew almost every aspect of my life.

How did this come about, and why now? In short: a divorce. The details of the divorce itself are irrelevant. Instead the focus here is on the effects and consequences that the divorce has had and, of course, will continue to have on my life. And while I don't want to imply that the divorce has had no emotional effects on me, I also don't want to write an angry diatribe about it. It would serve no purpose — not even as catharsis.

No, instead my goal is to journal some of the things that happen to me following my decision to start over. This is the first blog entry on this topic, and as time goes on I'm certain that much will be "as expected", some will be surprising and even exciting, some will be disappointing, probably infuriating, and often just plain frustrating.

But let's start at the root cause for this transition: the divorce. A divorce is usually a very painful process, and in fact, I doubt there is a "good" divorce even under the most amicable of circumstances. A divorcee by it's very definition is a failure of sort — it says that the "til death do us part"-promise in the end were just words, and that "the one" was not really "the one" after all. But, we're human and are thus allowed to fail and falter.

A divorce, can also be a solution to a serious problem, and I think that most divorces are usually the very last step in a long process (and no, I don't think that "celebrity marriages and divorces" fall into the realm of "normal").

In my case, it took a very long time to make the decision to go ahead with the divorce. With two daughters that I love more than anything on this planet, I was constantly trying weigh pros and cons, trying to be rational, trying to figure out the best solution for them, trying to limit the impact on them, just trying to have as little change as possible, essentially trying to make the "impossible" possible.

I knew that the process it was going to be difficult, although, I have to admit that I had no idea just how difficult it really would be in the end. Yes, I was naive!

The process itself took about 18 months from start to finish, and it was by far the most difficult period in my life. Of course, I know that I made the right decision, and I definitely do not regret making it. However, even today I sometimes wonder if I would have had the intestinal fortitude to go through with the divorce, had I known the details of what would happen.

So, I think that is enough of "bitter background" details. Again, the goal of these blog entries is to journal what happens "after" the event, and since I'm not a bitter person by nature, I find it difficult (and actually a waste of time) to rehash the past over and over. I cannot change history — I can only learn from it. Therefore, let's jump forward in time to "today."

About a week ago I moved into center city Philadelphia. That's a very big transition from the suburban settings in Connecticut that have been my home for so many years. Now, some background may be in order: I have lived and worked in quite a few places, cities, countries, and continents. So I'm not a "country pumpkin" lost in a big city. No, the big change is more in my lifestyle: I'm single (obviously) and I now live in a small apartment, which means I have a lot less "stuff." In fact, I have almost no "stuff."

In my previous life I had a whole house with stuff and cars and big yard and more stuff. Now, it feels more like I'm "traveling light" and it feels great. Too much stuff just causes unnecessary headaches. Too much stuff takes your focus away from what is important. Too much stuff gets in the way of living life.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't like "stuff", or that one cannot live happily in a house in Connecticut filled with things. I'm only saying that I myself had lost sight of what was important, and that I was headed in the wrong direction. How do I know? Well, I lost literally everything in the divorce, and I'm not really missing any of it.

For example, I absolutely love to drive. But living here in the middle of the city, I really don't need (or want) a car. Sure, I'm lucky in the sense that I can work from home, so I don't have to deal with a daily commute> And the few times I need a car I can simply rent a car, or use car-sharing services like PhillyCarShare and ZipCar. The upside is that I don't have to worry about car payments, insurance, parking, high gas prices, and so on. In short: fewer issues to deal with, and more time for important things.

Of course, none of this is a coincidence. I planned this very carefully, and the goal was specifically to engineer my life to be more streamlined, simpler, and with less stress. My focus is on seeing and communicating with my daughters as much as possible, and on actually "living" my life. There is so much to do and see, and, of course, then there is the job (still have to pay the bills somehow). But overall, I aim for quality rather than quantity .. and this time I mean it ;)

-martin.