Seeing It Differently

— Photo by ML

How strange life can be! The anniversary of my divorce is coming up and I'm making plans with my (ex-)in-laws for my girls to play with their cousins during an upcoming trip to Greensboro. Or maybe it's not so strange. After all, my (now technically ex-)brother-in-law and I have known each other for almost 20 years and we've always gotten along very well — even during the long divorce process. He is a stand-up guy and he has a very straight-forward point of view when it comes to our relationship: we've known each other forever and our kids will always be cousins. In short, we will, for better or worse, always be family.

During the divorce I had reached out to him, not to gain sympathy, but rather to see if he could help my ex — his sister. I knew that she wasn't speaking with many people, and also that the few she did talk to, would not necessarily always give her good advice. Her brother, on the other hand, would most definitely want to help (and also be able to help!). But more importantly, he is level-headed and you can always count on him.

The Hallway

— Photo by ML

The proposal is finally done. Answers for some 220 questions have been researched, written, and reviewed. Add to that references to a dozen or so white papers and other documents, and, of course, the tedious tasks of converting, renaming, and indexing those documents. A final review of everything (for the umpteenth time!), and a few last-minute edits — all seemingly endless busy-work. But then the end is as sudden as the beginning: a hard deadline when the proposal must be submitted.

I've gone through these exercises many times and I know the drill. We all know the drill. We get a Request for Proposal (RFP) and the clock starts ticking. The deadline is usually something like 5pm EST Thursday, or Friday 2pm PST, or some other arbitrary (but very specific) point in time. Now the machine must be started and proposal writing must commence. Team members in different time zones, countries, even continents, are assigned to tasks and we all start to work like an army of ants towards the common goal of delivering a complete proposal no later than the specified deadline.

The Birthday That Wasn't

— Photos by ML

The day wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Not this day! It was the 6th birthday of my younger daughter, and it was supposed to be perfect. She had been looking forward to this day for so long, or, as she would put it, "foreeeeeever!" We all had. She couldn't wait to be another year older.

Like every "little" girl, my daughter wants to be a "big" girl, and every birthday gets her one step closer. Naturally, there are also many other reasons why she absolutely loves birthdays (what kid doesn't?). She gets presents and a big cake with lots of frosting (would be nothing but frosting if she had her way). But most importantly, it's her day! She dresses up in a party dress and gets to decide pretty much everything.

Looking Forward to Days Like This

— Photo by ML

My initial thought was to write about the decade that was. After all, so much had happened, and so much had changed. Good things. Bad things. Strange things. Exciting things. Mundane things. In short: life happened. This was the decade when I won it all, and then lost it all.

OK. Stop! Yes, I lost all assets and my finances will remain a total mess for years to come. But during the last half of the last year of the decade I also got my life back. And what was otherwise a very difficult decade, actually ended on a tremendous up-note. Therefore, instead of looking back, I will look forward!

I'm looking forward to lazy summer days with my girls. Sure, they'll remain in Greensboro for the foreseeable future, and I won't be able to see them as often, or even whenever, I want. But I'll keep going there on a regular basis, and I'll find additional ways (beyond phone, email, IM, etc.) to stay in touch with them several times per week.