Photo by CN

This question popped into my head this afternoon: would I write my posts differently if I knew for sure that my daughters, friends, family, or even ex, read them? The answer is simple: no! First of all, I'm posting this to the "world", so it'd be really stupid to assume that they'd never read them. Secondly, and equally important, it wouldn't be honest — I know, novel concept.

I guess it all depends on why one writes. For me writing is part therapy, part exhibitionism, maybe even a bit narcissism. But unless I'd specifically write fiction, the whole point is to be not only truthful, but also careful and sensitive to the fact that my reader maybe someone very close to me. This is especially important when I write about personal topics such as my divorce.

I have to assume that my daughters will one day read these posts, and it is important to me that I don't write things that are false, or hurtful to them or my ex. In other words, I won't write anything that I cannot say directly to them. After all, my older daughter is already a teenager, and while I'm certain that she today doesn't read my posts (because according to her, my blog is simply not "cool" enough to actually read), she may one day change her mind and actually read it. And things, once said, cannot be "unsaid".

Does this mean I'm holding back. Maybe a little. But I think that whatever I'm holding back are words and feelings that do not need to be published. Some feelings and thoughts are and should remain private. And I'm comfortable with that. In fact, I will, at least for the foreseeable future, assume that my daughters, family, friends, and ex, actually will read this at some point, and I will express myself accordingly.

-martin.